Seeing as I am a counselor, I often am analyzing relationships and how to solve even the most trickiest problems. What I believe to be true is how postive relationships create better outcomes for all involved. Here are a few suggestions on how not to be a drain in the relationship.
1. Relationships Are Not Just For One Thing
I have found that some people go after a relationship just for one thing. Now that one thing can be a variety of one things: love, friendship, working project, collaboration. But the truth is, those one things almost never stay just one things. That is why it is called a relationship. More often than not it turns into something much more: friendship, romantic partner, working relationship, meeting new people through that person, etc. If you plan on going after that person for one reason, stop. You are not a fortune teller. Be open to the possibilities and the willingness to allow for new outcomes to develop.
2. Be positive
Be the person who everyone says is the positive one. The person who sees the glass as half full instead of half empty. The person who tries to find the positive out of the situation even when there are negative consequences. It really is that simple.
3. Don’t be a Drain
When you are the person that everyone says is negative, you are the drain. Stop being the drain. No one like the Debbie Downer. No one likes when someone adds fear or doubt to a situation. If you are that person, stop. Go back to #2 and do as it says. Don’t make excuses for yourself. Acknowledge that you are the Negative Nancy and decide that you don’t want to be any longer.
My Take Away…
Be the positive one. Stop being the negative one. No one likes negativity. Don’t go after relationships if you are after one thing. Be open to possibilities and, if not, don’t seek out that relationship at all. Step away from the drain because it’s nasty down there!
Let’s keep the conversation going. What do you do to be positive in your relationships with others? Feel free to leave your comments below.
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